with your own penis?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
