I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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