Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
