I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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