Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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