you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
