Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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