Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
