He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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