come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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