fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
