I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
