Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm way too hungover for life right now
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
