My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
