This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
