So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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