A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize