i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
