The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i don't like sucking hair
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
