can we get nightvision for the apartment?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
