Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
