woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
