Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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