i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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