YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
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