True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
