I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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