I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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