I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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