So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
