the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
