It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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