Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
