who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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