Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
