Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
