Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
