im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
