Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
