You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
