The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Drunk is not a location!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Someone signed my nipple.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
