Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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