Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
