Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
