come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I am naked and annoyed.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
