he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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