Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm passing your future prison.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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