It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
