i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
