can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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