the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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