I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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