She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
