You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
