There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She bit a glass in half.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
