I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
