Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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