She said her name was "party"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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