We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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