K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
